The difference between my heart and my brain

Dad,

I know I have told you that I am having trouble realizing that you are never coming back.  I was told by my doctor the other day that, "You are 31 years old. Your brain knows he is gone and you cant keep up the facade about him being on vacation."  When do my heart and brain start to talk to each other?  I am hoping that comes soon cause my heart keeps telling me "Oh, he is probably busy and I will call him in a few days." 

My friend Mickel finally told me why I am uncomfortable with my friends right now.  He said that I am probably upset at the fact that my whole world stopped when you passed.  My friends on the other hand, their world is still spinning and stressing and laughing and eating.  He also told me that for a while he only found comfort in being with people that knew his grandpa so they could talk about the great memories they have of him.  I think this might be true for me as well.  Most of my friends have never met you and here I am, world at a screeching halt, and they want to have fun still.  I forgot what fun, laughter, and friends are all about.  I am in a rut and I am hoping it will be fixed soon.

I miss you so much it hurts. 
Ang