Explinations

Dad,

Today there was a party planned so we could hang out with friends and try and get happy again.  I didnt even last 3 hours.  I dont know how to explain my feelings to anyone and that is why I keep to myself right now and I know if you were here you would have some amazing way of explaining things so I can understand and then tell my friends.  I do have a friend who lost her dad about a year ago and she is easy to talk to.  She understands me and even makes me feel better about the feelings I have been having.  The rest of my friends know I am in pain but the level of hurt is nothing you can verbalize to people.  I am taking some time off work to work things out.  I am seeing a counselor and hoping she can help me express my feelings.  I know life has been and will go on, but I am not so sure I care to be in it right now.  The safety of my bedroom is all I know and maybe for a little longer it will stay that way.  I miss you and your way of explaining things to me so I understand why I am feeling this way.  The "This is normal" speech is just getting old.

Ang