Hey Dad,
I thought I was doing good for a couple of days, but when the evening part of the day rolls around, I seem to find things to think about that make me upset. I am having trouble with some things that go unanswered when a loved one passes. I am really tired of being this useless lump of goo who cant get her butt out of her cone of silence to do the dishes or wash a pair of pants so he can go to work. Today I did make dinner and do the dishes. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
I did go out to lunch with Mickel today. He has been a big help in reassuring me that its OK to be this sad. I had the shakes the whole time though. Not really sure why. I am back in therapy tomorrow so maybe I can talk some of this out with Julie.
I think I am struggling so hard right now because you were the person to talk sense into me, you knew what I was thinking and could give advice on how to handle the situation. Now that you aren't here I am really really lost.
I miss you so terribly and keep wishing my heart would stop asking my brain if you are coming back. Those two organs really don't understand each other and frankly I don't understand them either.
Ang
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